Monthly Archives: November 2007

In the past two months I have lost 21 inches from my body. Three inches alone have come off my bust.

My bust, people.

Fucking fat deposits left and right all over my body and the boobs gotta be the first to go.

‘the fuck?

I stayed at Patty’s house last night so that I could get up with her baby overnight and she could get some much-needed sleep. Not that Patty actually sleeps through her baby’s cries, but at least she could go right back to bed and get some rest while I fed him.

After one night – one night where the baby slept incredibly well – I can really understand why she’s so tired. Even though the baby slept for stretches at a time, I’m not sure that I got more than one hour of sleep in any one stretch myself.

But, here’s the thing… it was so worth it.

It felt good to finally be able to do something of substance for Patty. We’ve talked since Dan died, we’ve had kind words, I’ve even been able to visit with her once or twice – but it was all just words. It was nice to do something. And more than anything, it’s nice to be part of her life again. The circumstances are shite… but I’m glad that she feels comfortable enough to reach out to me.

And the baby… oh, heavy sigh. The coos and the cuddles and the falling asleep in my arms.  Babies are so worth any sleepless night. I really need to get me one…

I lost a little over 5 pounds last week which brings my total weight loss down to 30.5 pounds. Woo hoo! I’ve now lost over 10% of my total body weight.

In other news, I very well may have to break my whole “buy nothing new for one month” edict just days into it. Since Bryan and I have been together we’ve slept accompanied by a white noise maker. For some reason the damn thing died last week.

I didn’t realize how much I’ve come to rely upon the white noise maker until last night – when Bryan was snoring, and Cain was snoring and Rosie couldn’t get quite comfortable in her new home and kept ringing her bell throughout the night. It’s probably the least restful night of sleep I’ve had in recent memory.

I’m watching a few different noise makers on eBay, so I just may be able to find a used one… but if not, I’m willing to break down and buy a new one pronto. Sleep still ranks way ahead of global warming on my need scale.

Say welcome to the newest member of Clan Adams, Rosie.

Rosie is an African Grey. She came to us from Brandon (Bryan’s best friend) and Stephanie. She’s been living with them for a while, but bit Stephanie last week pretty hard (Steph had to get stitches in her lip), so she’s come to live with us now.

We’re still a bit frightened of each other. She’s come out of her cage for a bit, but I haven’t made any attempt to pick her up yet. Bryan’s much less afraid of her and will have to get her out for some exercise when he comes home from work tonight.

Petey has been clinging to me ever since Rosie made her grand entrance and Cain just doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can’t figure out why, when Rosie drops food, he can’t find it on the floor (it falls to the bottom of her cage). He’s been patrolling the floor around her cage all afternoon.

The four of us shared an apple a bit ago. Ah food, the common bond in this household.

** Update 8:45 p.m. ** Rosie is becoming more talkative the longer the day goes on. Cain is just staring at her in disbelief. He doesn’t understand how or why this animal talks. Every time Rosie says, “Hello,” Cain goes running to front door.

Talkative parrott + not-so-smart bulldogge is going to equal hours upon hours of entertainment.

Months ago I subscribed to No Impact Man’s RSS feed. The blog posts have been building up in my Bloglines, so today I decided to sit down and read them all. I got through about 50 – saving the rest for another day as I just don’t have it in me to read them all tonight.

It’s really resonating with me – the philosophy of the Common Good. I’m making a vow now to be more conscious of how my actions affect all. I’m not sure where I am going to start, there’s a lot of thought kicking around in my head. My first step, I guess, is to become more conscious of my consumerism.

Besides groceries, gas and smokes, I didn’t buy anything all week long (well, except for lunch yesterday for me and my friend, Suneil). I am going to make a concerted effort over the next month to buy only those things I need – not things I want. And I’m going to try to buy second-hand those things that I need when possible. For the immediate future that includes mittens and work out shoes.

Looks like it is time to hit the thrift stores.

I’ve got nothing for you today. Well, there’s a lot brewing in my head about how pissed off I am at my brother-in-law’s girlfriend right now – but I have to wrap my head around it before I start spewing out what a hateful woman she can be for the world to see.

So, instead, here is a Friday meme.

From Four for Friday

Judged by a Supreme Being: If their objective were to judge us, what would the three worst places be for extraterrestrials to land in the U.S. and observe Americans?

1. Congress
2. Anywhere the Aryan Nation is congregating
3. Fred Phelps church

Changing it Up: After checking into a hotel, have you ever been so disappointed with your accommodations that you asked to be moved to another room? If so, what were the circumstances that led to the request?

Only once in recent memory. When Christine, Sandie, Stephanie and I traveled to Chicago for the Gurlesque Burlesque last year, our original room at the HoJo in downtown Chicago was littered with paint cans and canvasses and stunk of paint fumes.

There have been multiple other times I wish I had the cajones to speak up and move rooms, but it hasn’t happened. In particular I’m thinking of the time that I visited my dad up north while he was hunting last winter. My room was infested with bugs and I was afraid to sleep all night long.

Wedding Bands: Do you have a system for when you do and do not wear your wedding band/ring? For instance, do you wear yours 24/7/365, remove at night or when participating in strenuous activities, etc.? If you are not married and you wear jewelry on a regular basis, what system do you employ?

I wear my wedding band at all times, except in the morning when I am showering, putting on makeup and doing my hair. I just don’t want to get gunk all over it.

However, I’m losing so much weight that it is getting to the point where my engagement ring and band are starting to fall off on their own. I’ve told Bryan he’s going to need to replace them when I’ve reached my goal weight as my rings cannot be sized. He told me to put a ring sizer on it to which I responded, “Fine, I’ll just run around hot, skinny and without a wedding band.“

Me thinks I might get a new wedding set next year.

What’s your reaction to this?

That’s kind of ingenious. But, really, my first thought is – how do you Super Glue both hands to your head? Don’t you need one hand to glue the other?

120 sticks of butter… weigh 30 pounds.

6 sacks of potatoes… weigh 30 pounds.

24 medium cantalopes… weigh 30 pounds.

I did it. I finally lost 24 medium cantalopes.

Before we left for Cancun I decided to “de-hair” myself as much as possible. I waxed my armpits and was thrilled with how I could reach under my arm and it felt as smooth as a baby’s butt. Because, you know, everyone wants pits that feel of baby’s ass.

Now the hair is starting to grow back and it is anything but smooth as a baby’s ass. It’s itchy and rashy and not at all pleasant to the eye. I’ve exfoliated a few times to prevent ingrown hairs, but me thinks it might not be working. Is this typical?

One of the many perks of working for one of the nation’s largest nonprofits is the courting we receive by vendors. Today a tech company that works exclusively in the nonprofit arena hosted a lunch at The Whitney. Dear bejeebus was it a good lunch. And the vendor didn’t even really try to sell us anything – just hosted a table discussion.

The downside, of course, was that The Whitney hardly prepares their meals by Weight Watchers standards. You know, like… they have flavor, and fat, and flavor, and lots of calories, and flavor.

So, for the third night in a row, I forced myself to the gym even though I’m
tired as shit from staying up late last night and watching 28 Weeks Later with Bryan.

I didn’t really care much to see the movie, but Bryan was adamant. “It’s been called the best zombie movie, ever,” he assured me.

That’s akin to me subjecting you to the ‘best chick flick’ ever,” I responded as I rolled my eyes.

"If it was the best chick flick ever, I’d watch it. I like good movies!”

So, I’m currently on the hunt for the best, most painful, chick flick ever. Suggestions?

If you’ll remember, we (and by we, I mean me, because I hardly imagine you even noticed) skipped Monday weigh-in #7 because I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant. And, well… after five days at an all-inclusive resort, I knew this week wasn’t going to be exactly stellar either. However, I’m happy to report that with two weeks way, way off my food plan (I still exercised moderately), I only gained 2.2 pounds.

It could have been oh so much worse.

So, I’m back to 25 pounds lost-to-date. It’s still a very respectable number. My next goal is to be down to 30 lost by Thanksgiving. That’s very, very doable.

And get this folks – the last time I flew in August I had to get a seat belt extender, but not this time! That felt good. And I actually fit into the airplane seat without dying. I mean, it’s still a tight squeeze, but not embarrassingly so anymore.

Speaking of airplanes, I’m a big-ass chicken when it comes to flying. I just hate it. I used to be okay once we got in the air, but the older I get the less okay I get with the inbetween part too. It defies logic because I know air travel is relatively safe – but I’m not particularly rational 38,000 feet above the ground. I’ve survived many a car crash in my day… because I rarely had more than a few feet to tumble to the ground.

This trip was comprised of four airplane rides – Detroit to Ft. Lauderdale, Ft. Lauderdale to Cancun and reverse. Taking off from Cancun we hit turbulence so bad that even Bryan admitted he thought the plane was going down. The last leg was the only one I didn’t almost crap my pants on. We flew on a Airbus A321. It was a hella-big airplane and so powerful you felt like you just rocketed into the sky on take-off. Definitely the most enjoyable plane ride I’ve had in quite some time.

Being out of the country for the first two days of NaBloPoMo has made me a failure from the get-go, but I think I’ll give it a good ol’ college try for the rest of the month.

Before I really get into the story of our trip to Mexico, which I’ll save for another day, let me just say that I formed an extreme love/hate relationship with Cancun. The area itself is just beautiful – sunny, warm – and the water was bluer than any water I have ever seen before. The surrounding area is ripe with archaeological finds, history – tons of stuff to explore. And there was never a shortage of food, drink or something to do.

That was all great.

My beef with Cancun is this – it was created in the 70′s specifically as a tourist destination. And, as a tourist, you are the industry. You are the source of income for the locals. And you are reminded of such from the moment you step off the airplane until the time you get back on. You are bombarded left and right with people trying to get you to buy their food, their services, their wares, their… anything.

When I go on vacation, I prepay my hundreds of dollars for my hotel, get there, unpack and expect that I’ve met my end of the deal – so I can relax. Now it’s the hotel’s turn to take care of me. But not in Cancun… they are never so busy waiting on you as they are trying to sell you the next thing. An upgrade of the room, a timeshare presentation, a tour… you can’t even relax by the pool without be accosted by someone offering to take a picture of you with their boa constrictor for money, or another timeshare presentation, or someone walking the beach trying to sell you some jewelry or a hat or, on more than one occasion, “the sticky.”

I learned quickly not to make eye contact with anyone.

By day five I was so irritated that, while walking through a flea market, I responded to the one hundredth vendor who assured me that his store had exactly what I wanted that what I wanted was to be left alone to shop in peace. Apparently that concept doesn’t translate from English to Spanish and I just had to walk out of the flea market.

But all of that aside, I really did have a great week. It was so nice to spend five days, uninterrupted, with Bryan. I felt like we were on the honeymoon we never had. We laughed so much and just enjoyed each other’s company without the pressures of home life, our jobs, taking care of the pets… it was blissful.